So, some big news in my small world… I’VE (FINALLY) FINISHED TREATMENT! On the 20th of January at around 2pm, I was told that I could leave Ward F6 for what we all hoped (still hope) to be the last time. I cried, pretty much squeezed my nurse to death, and turned around to see … Continue reading Support
Evolution
18th November 2018 I don’t want to sit there and discuss how difficult I’m finding it with my loved ones. Mostly because I don’t know where the difficulty lies. I haven’t worked out why I feel like I do yet. The chemo is working well, my body has been responding brilliantly so far, so why … Continue reading Evolution
I’m Either Crying or Pooping
I’ve had a word with myself after last night’s desperate rambling. Although all of those feelings still remain, I am worried that if I wallow in them for much longer then I’ll end up buried beneath them with very little room to escape. Besides, if I spend any more of my time crying I fear … Continue reading I’m Either Crying or Pooping
Mourning
Today was not a nice one. I felt well, but I spent the day sobbing. Mourning an old life. Mourning the life I've missed. Mourning my future. I am now stuck in my childhood home. Unable to work. All plans on hold. Friends living wonderful lives - and so they should. No one for me … Continue reading Mourning
Are We There Yet?
Last week felt like a never ending nightmare. As I said previously, I know this process isn’t a game or a competition I voluntarily entered, but I wanted to be good at it. I wanted to do it gracefully, stay on top of the things that mattered, and practice positivity at all times. But when … Continue reading Are We There Yet?
The 86 Year Old Angel
5th September 2018 It’s late in the evening on the night that was to be the start of a journey I never wanted to make. My mum and I made our way to QA Hospital, admission letter from my GP in hand. My eyes swollen through tears and pure exhaustion. I was relieved to have … Continue reading The 86 Year Old Angel
Good Things Come to Those Who… Need a Bloody Break
Ask anyone who’s had cancer about what they’ve learnt along the way, and I bet somewhere amongst their list the word ‘patience’ will crop up. If cancer is good for something, it’s ensuring you have the patience of a Saint by the time you come out the other end. The whole process of cancer is … Continue reading Good Things Come to Those Who… Need a Bloody Break
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Concept: You’re on a cliff edge, screaming really loudly in an attempt to liberate yourself from all of the newfound unhappiness that a recent event has instilled upon your life - except, you wake up from that dream to vividly imagine that there’s a miniature version of yourself making a relentless and disconcerting racket in … Continue reading A Series of Unfortunate Events
Washing, Walkies & Wine
Yesterday and Sunday had been pretty diabolical. Both days I’d woken up with ‘to do’ lists in my head, but I felt too sick and overwhelmed to attempt any of it. I spent a good couple of hours crying in bed on Sunday morning, trying to process what was really going on. It sounds so … Continue reading Washing, Walkies & Wine
Let’s Be Honest
It’s been a little while since I sat down at my keyboard and I must say, I feel rather disappointed. I was raring to go in the beginning, I couldn’t wait to create a sounding board for this journey, tackling the trials and tribulations of cancer as they happened, maybe even finding some other cancer … Continue reading Let’s Be Honest